I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
