so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
