that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
