Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
