laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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