My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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