Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
