And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
