I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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