Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
