hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
