I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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