Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
