She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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