So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
