I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
