I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
