Don't you send me to vm
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
