I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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