i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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