Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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