Slut skills are useful in every country.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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