I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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