I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
