yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
