i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
