We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
