Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
