As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
