You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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