i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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