Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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