I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He felt like a one man threesome
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
