All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
