somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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