You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
