What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
