Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
