PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
...so i touched it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
