ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
