too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
