Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
