it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
