Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
