a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He did a backflip because drugs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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