Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
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