I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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