What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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