So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
