I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
