I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
