he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
